Dinner with a Good Friend

John and I met a friend for dinner on Saturday, who lost her husband to Cancer last December, he was 50 years old.  She is from a large family, maybe 5-6 brothers and sisters.  She has alot of shoulders to lean on, not that it is any easier, but the support sure helps.  If you have ever lost someone close to you, you know how much support means, having someone to talk to helps.  We've been friends for about 15 years.  We met at her at a restaurant, Kilroy's, about half hour from our house, closer to hers.

She started on her diet journey about two years ago, just before he had been diagnosed.  She joined Weight Watchers and started going to the gym.  They changed their eating habits and food consumption.  He lost 50 pounds, she lost 75 (to date).  After all the chemo he went through, he said he wished he had not lost the weight, as the chemo causes loss of appetite.  He lost another 50 pounds before he passed away.  Her husband was a former Navy Seal.  Before his illness, he was 5'11, about 225 pounds, and the (physically) strongest person I ever knew.  He knew pressure points on the body that would have you on your knees in seconds.  His battle with Cancer was a strong fight as well, two years of fighting.  At his 50th birthday party last April, he said had so much fun, he hoped to be around for many more birthdays.  He is missed by so many.  He was nicest guy you'd ever know, do anything for you, one of those kind of people.  I still have to make a conscious effort in talking about him in past tense.

They are boaters, she's got the boat for sale near Baltimore where there are alot of boat people, hopeful for a quick sale.  She's decided to keep the three cars.  He had a small 2006 Ford Ranger pickup truck, she has a 2001 Crown Victoria.  For his 50th, he went middle aged crazy and bought himself a sports car, convertible Z (Nissan or Toyota?).  She said the 4-wheel pickup truck is handy for getting around in the snow and hauling stuff.  She takes the Crown Vic to work and running errands in normal weather, it is her car, gas guzzler she calls it.  She loves putting the top down on the sports car during the few nice days we've had.  She says she still hasn't been able to sleep on "his side" of the bed, understandable.  Their dog, Rudy, won't leave her side when she's home.  He even follows her into the bathroom, she has to close the door just to keep him out, then he scratches the door.

She is staying busy, working and working out.  She said when she leaves the gym after eight plus hours at work too, she's exhausted, and often falls asleep watching TV, sometimes forgetting to make herself something to eat.  I encouraged her to eat a big lunch if that's the case, which she said she makes sure she packs herself a healthy lunch each day.  She is adjusting, one day at a time.  Her husband set up her first cell phone when he was initially diagnosed, for emergencies.  He never told her what the PIN was to access the messages, the mailbox on the phone is full.  She has to take it to Verizon to get it erased and set up new access.

I was 19 years old when my dad passed away of a heart attack, he was 53, my Mom was 51, I have two younger siblings.  It took time, Mom got through the pain and loss, one day at a time, life goes on.

I'm happy for my friend that she's taking care of herself and staying busy.  I told her not to hesitate contacting us for anything, even if it is just another shoulder.  I'm glad we spent time together, we promised to stay in touch.  I hope we do.

Today, it rained.  Not just rain, downpoured all day long.  We're under a flash flood watch.  It was a TV day, made dinner and headed to bed soon.  Hope you enjoyed your weekend.  Next Sunday, time change.